I can be wordy. I can recall my grandmother calling me loquacious. I think she was just using big words and politely telling me to shut up. I've noticed my blog is not much different from my conversation skills. Thus, i thought I'd change it up and try to summarize the last 4 or 5 days using pictures and captions and give you guys a break (I bet the captions end up being longer than my regular posts!).
Relay for life: Friday I felt brave enough to go out to the Relay for Life event held at my high school. This whole cancer experience has given me a bit of social anxiety. I am afraid of stupid shit. I don't want people to fell obligated to talk to me, I hate that most conversations revolve around me and they are not 2-sided anymore. I get nervous at what people think when they look at me (god she is pale and skinny). Of course they all say I look great, but I'm not sure if this just a nicety. Anyway, I got there and the first people I see are my close friends rocking their "Raney" t-shirts and it was beyond humbling. I then ran in to a student who fought cancer long before it was even a thought in my mind. I hate to be on his side of the fence but it has opened up another support system for both of us. The night was filled with students and friends and I was happy to be a part of it.
"Oh the Hair-ror": I was prepared to go bald. However, my nurse practitioner informed me that the type of chemo I'm on rarely causes baldness, This is an obvious perk but still, I was prepared to go bald. Hair is hair. I thought I wasn't vain about hair loss, like I was bigger than that. Well folks, I was not. The first round of chemo did nothing to my hair, but within days of round 2, I found a chunk of hair that smelled completely burnt and I kept finding my hair everywhere. That's when I started to notice the ever-growing hair ball that was accumulating at the bottom of the shower. So I have not lost hair in clumps and I am not completely going bald, but my hair texture has completely changed and I've lost about 1/3 of it so far. At first I was devastated. I cried every time I showered. But then I thought I have it better than most. So in my attempt to "Suck It Up", I went and got my hair cut shorter. (And I am doing a plug: Thank you Scissor Sisters of Manahawkin and my hairstylist Kelly. I have always thought they were wonderful in terms of quality but they truly care about their clients. They have gone above and beyond for me during my struggle.)
I have also reverted to a really gross practice of hair loss shower art. Every day I leave a piece of artwork made out of my hair ball. I have made a pretty heart, a face, etc. This must make people gag, but I don't care. Monday morning, before chemo I left this one on the wall for Billy. Sorry, but I felt like poop about the day. Yet at the same time, the word poop still makes me giggle (yes, I have the humor of a five year-old boy). Hope you enjoy my conceptual art.
I have also reverted to a really gross practice of hair loss shower art. Every day I leave a piece of artwork made out of my hair ball. I have made a pretty heart, a face, etc. This must make people gag, but I don't care. Monday morning, before chemo I left this one on the wall for Billy. Sorry, but I felt like poop about the day. Yet at the same time, the word poop still makes me giggle (yes, I have the humor of a five year-old boy). Hope you enjoy my conceptual art.