an insane dosage of pain meds so my mind is not what it normally is. Number two, I've been suffering double vision and it has made even bringing a cup to my mouth feel like an Olympian feat. However the point of this blog is to be truthful and open at all times. So there will be mess ups and Spelling mistakes because that is what life is like right now.
for those unaware, I had emergency surgery Wednesday morning. I knew my pain was increasing at a rapid rate and by Tuesday evening it was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. I immediately thought intestinal blockage because I had read that type of blockage can be quite painful.
Okay, screw this. Writing is too heard. Voice to text writing commence now:
I had surgery Wednesday morning at the University of Pennsylvania. The goal of the surgery was just to reroute intestines I had been blocked. There is a slight chance of having my tumor removed but that wasn't the primary goal. It turns out my pain is actually caused by swelling appendix. So in the end I had my appendix removed, a lot of my of my colon, I think some of my intestines but I don't remember, and that giant ass tumor.
I'm in a great amount of pain. I haven't eaten since Tuesday. I have double vision extreme soreness in all my joints and I've lost about 3 pounds in sweat alone. Half the time I don't make sense because I'm so sleep deprived from being in the hospital. I'd give anything to poop and make this stay a much shorter one. The mental toll of not seeing my kids, especially not being there for Sam, is unreal and I'm crying as I write this because of it.my family looked absolutely terrified the beginning of the week, but now they look more at ease and understand the very long road ahead of me in terms of healing. I still can't believe the tumor is gone. I keep thinking I'm gonna wake up and that this is all a dream.
Not having the ability to eat or drink for days on end is one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my entire life.last night I was allowed fluids for the first time. It was a cup of apple juice that I had to sip over the course of 6 to 9 hours. I loathe apple juice. But it was one of the greatest drinks I've ever had. Today I received a small cup of broth. It was better than any filet mignon I'd ever had. I will never take broth for granted again. To be able to feed myself and experience the taste of warm salt water was beyond gratifying.
That's all I can do for now.
Theolder kids are coming to visit in an hour. It will be bittersweet but I can't wait to see their faces. I spoke with Sam on the phone tonight. She told me what a cow says and sang the Wheels on the Bus with me. She only sings the "all" in the song. I get so excited when her part of the song comes up. I sang twinkle little star and lost it. It was both physically and mentally painful. Tears hurt on many levels.
okay I'm really done.
Thanks for all those helping out or asking to help out. I'll keep you updated.
i love you all.